Taylor Kaspar (00:02.482)
what to do before you hire a professional. Yes, even me. Welcome back to the secret podcast. If you're here again, I see you and I know how much courage it takes to even listen to something like this. I'm Taylor Wynne's divorce coach, divorce attorney, and a woman who has sat on both sides of the divorce table. And today I want to talk about the thing that surprises people most when they're just starting the divorce process. Don't call a lawyer yet.
Not even me, not until you do this first. Because I've seen it too many times. Women walk into a lawyer's office without clarity, without a plan. They don't know what they actually want out of the process. And then guess what happens? They walk out with a retainer agreement, thousands of dollars in sunk costs, and no real sense of control. Let's not do that. Before you even think about hiring someone, ask yourself these two questions first.
Number one, am I emotionally ready to do this with intention? Divorce stirs up so many feelings. Guilt, fear, grief, anger, obligation. If you're making decisions from panic or pain, you're going to get dragged into drama, and that's expensive in every single way. Question number two is, am I logistically prepared? Do I know what's in the bank accounts, whose name is on the house?
Do I understand how we've managed the money, the kids, the day to day? You don't have to have everything figured out, but walking in totally unprepared, that's how you waste your money and your power. Here's a secret from the legal world that I'll probably get side-eyed for even saying out loud. A lot of attorneys won't stop you from hiring them too early because it's billed by the hour, not based on whether or not now is the right time for you.
Is your attorney capable of starting you off at any place? Yeah, probably. But the earlier it is and the lack of planning that you have, the more expensive it costs. And when you're emotionally unsure, it's easy to outsource your power. You start saying things like, I don't know, whatever you think is best. I just want it over. Can you just handle it? And that sounds innocent, but it's dangerous because if you're not the one steering the ship,
Taylor Kaspar (02:25.026)
the legal system will take you wherever it wants. And it does not care if you drown along the way. So before you pay a lawyer, I want you to figure out three things first. Number one, your why. Why are you getting divorced? What pushed you to this point? Is it about safety, your sanity, your self-respect? The clarity will anchor you when things get messy. Number two, what are your non-negotiables?
What are some things that you will not compromise on? Your time with your kids, staying in your home, getting a fair financial split? No, you're lying in the sand. Number three, your big picture. What do you want your life to look like a year from now? Not just legally, but emotionally, financially, and relationally. The more clearly you can see it, the more you can fight for it without getting dragged into fights that don't matter.
This is exactly the kind of work we do inside of my divorce coaching program. Before you hire a lawyer, before you file anything, we build your plan. We gather your documents, we figure out your strategy and your goals and your blind spots. And we do it in a way that saves you thousands in legal fees because you're not paying your attorney to be your coach, your planner, or your emotional support. So if you're ready to move forward with intention instead of fear, let's talk. The link to apply or book a call is in the show notes. Next episode.
We're talking about documentation, not just receipts and emails, but how to capture conflict, control, and chaos in a way that actually it gets taken seriously by the court. It's what I teach my clients and what I use myself as a divorced mom of four. You're doing this smarter than most. See you in the next one.
