Most women don’t regret leaving “too soon.” They regret not getting prepared sooner.

When you’re facing divorce, emotions run high. You’re worried about your kids, your finances, your future. And in the chaos, it’s easy to think you’ll “figure it out later.” But here’s the hard truth: the women who get blindsided in divorce are the ones who didn’t prepare.

Divorce isn’t just an ending — it’s a negotiation, a financial transition, and a complete restructuring of your life. Preparation is the difference between feeling panicked and feeling powerful.

Here are the 3 things you need to do before you file (or as early as possible once you know it’s coming).

1. Collect Your Financial Documents

If you only do one thing before divorce, let it be this: gather and secure every financial record you can. Divorce is, at its core, a financial transaction. Without proof of income, assets, and debts, you’ll have no foundation to negotiate from.

What to Collect:

• Tax returns (last 3 years)
• Pay stubs, W-2s, 1099s, or income statements
• Bank and credit card statements
• Retirement account and pension statements
• Mortgage, car loan, and debt records
• Life and health insurance policies
• Titles to vehicles, property deeds
• Business ownership documents (if applicable)

 Why It Matters:

• Some spouses hide assets or conveniently “forget” accounts exist. Having records in hand means you can hold your ground.
• Courts (and mediators) rely on documentation, not memory.
• Having financial clarity helps you and your attorney (or mediator) build a realistic strategy.

 Pro Tip:

Scan everything as PDFs and save them in a secure cloud folder or external hard drive. Print a backup set if you’re worried about losing digital access. 

2. Create Your Pre- and Post-Divorce Budget

Too many women head into divorce only thinking about “right now.” They forget that divorce is about building a sustainable life after.

Step One: The Pre-Divorce Budget

List your household’s current income and expenses. Where is money coming from, and where is it going? Include hidden costs like:

• Kids’ sports, activities, and field trips
• Insurance premiums and co-pays
• Subscriptions and memberships
• Credit card minimums

 Step Two: The Post-Divorce Budget

Now imagine your life on your own income. What will housing cost? What about childcare, utilities, car insurance, and groceries? If you expect child support or spousal maintenance, include it, but don’t rely on it to cover everything.

Why It Matters:

• Budgeting shows you what lifestyle you can realistically afford.
• It gives you leverage in negotiations — you can demonstrate what it actually costs to raise kids or live independently.
• It prevents you from making short-sighted decisions (like keeping the house when it’s not financially sustainable).

Pro Tip:

Don’t forget transition costs — deposits for a new place, moving expenses, furnishing kids’ bedrooms, or legal fees. Those “one-time” costs add up fast.

3. Start Prepping Your Divorce Strategy

Divorce isn’t just paperwork. It’s strategy. Walking in without one means you’ll spend most of the process reacting instead of leading. 

Think Through These Questions:

• Custody & Parenting Time: What schedule is best for your kids? What are your non-negotiables?
• The House: Do you want to keep it, sell it, or let your spouse have it? What are the financial consequences of each option?
• Assets vs. Debts: What’s worth fighting for? What can you let go of?
• Support: Do you need spousal maintenance? If so, for how long?
• Future Conflict: How do you want disputes handled — mediation, arbitration, or court.

Why It Matters:

• Judges don’t want to solve every fight. The more clarity you bring, the stronger your case.
• Having a strategy reduces fear — you’ll know your goals, your options, and your backup plan.
• It helps you avoid being pressured into agreements you’ll regret later.

Pro Tip:

Write your goals down. Seeing them on paper makes it easier to stay grounded when emotions run high.

Final Thoughts

Divorce isn’t easy. But being unprepared makes it ten times harder.

You don’t regret the day you finally chose yourself. You regret not getting ready sooner. That’s why the smartest move you can make is to collect your documents, create your budgets, and start building your strategy now.

Because divorce doesn’t just change your relationship — it reshapes your entire future. And preparation is what turns fear into clarity.

👉 Want a head start? Download my Free Divorce Prep Checklist — it walks you step-by-step through the documents, budgets, and strategy decisions you’ll need so you can move forward with confidence.