(from a Divorce Lawyer Turned Divorce Coach Who’s Also a Divorced Mom of Four)

When I first went through my divorce, I thought I was doing everything right.

We used terms like “by agreement” and “best interests of the child” in our parenting plan, because it felt cooperative.

But here’s what I’ve learned—both as a divorced mom and a Minnesota-based divorce attorney who’s reviewed hundreds of parenting plans since:

💥 Vague parenting plans are the fast track to conflict, court dates, and chaos.

 So if I had to write my parenting plan all over again, these are the five must-have clauses I’d include from day one.

 1. ✅ Clear Legal Custody & Tie-Breaking Rules

Don’t just say you have “joint legal custody.” Spell out:

• Who makes what decisions (education, medical, therapy, religion, etc.)
• What happens if you don’t agree (tie-breaker authority, arbitration, etc.)
• How disagreements will be addressed (timeline, escalation, third-party input)

Why? Because vague agreements breed power struggles. Clear decision-making prevents deadlock and reduces drama.

2. 📆 Specific Parenting Time Schedule — Including Sick Days & Holidays

Every parenting plan should include:

• Days and times parenting time starts and ends
• Where exchanges happen (school, home, public place)
• Backup plan for no school days, sick days, or weather disruptions
• Holiday and vacation rotation spelled out in advance 

Vagueness leads to assumptions. Assumptions lead to arguments. And arguments lead to emergency court motions. 

3. 🚗 Transportation Details — Who’s Driving, When, and Where 

One of the most overlooked areas?

• Who drives to pick up or drop off?
• Are exchanges curbside, front door, or walk-in?
• Are the parents allowed (or prohibited) from interacting during exchanges?

When this isn’t addressed up front, it becomes a point of tension. The more high-conflict the dynamic, the more important these logistics are.

4. 🏒 Extracurriculars, Sports, and Activity Expenses 

This one hits hard as a sports mom.

Make sure your parenting plan includes:

• What activities are the kids currently in?
• What’s the process for enrolling in new ones?
• Who pays what portion, and how/when reimbursement happens?
• Are both parents allowed at games, events, practices?

You’re not just planning for right now — you’re building a framework for the next 5–10 years. 

5. 💬 Co-Parent Communication Protocols 

You need to clearly define:

• How parents communicate (email, parenting app, text?)
• When communication is expected (emergencies only? Weekly check-ins?)
• How parents and kids communicate during off-duty time (phone calls, FaceTime, texts — and how often? 

Without this, you’ll constantly find yourself navigating gray zones and trying to interpret vague expectations. Your kids deserve better — and so do you. 

👩‍⚖️ Final Thoughts: Build Your Blueprint, Not a Battle Plan 

Parenting plans are not meant to be a set-it-and-forget-it formality. They are your roadmap for co-parenting success.

The more specific you are now, the less conflict you’ll face later.

And if you need help drafting, reviewing, or fixing a parenting plan — you’re not alone.

🎯 Register for my workshop:Parenting Plans That Protect

Learn how to draft a conflict-reducing, court-ready plan from a lawyer and divorced mom who’s been through it all. You’ll get real examples, key clauses to copy, and optional upgrades for live Q&A.

👉 Click here to register for the workshop now  

Need personalized help writing or revising your parenting plan? Book a private strategy call with me here.