There’s nothing lonelier than realizing your marriage is over… while still folding his socks and passing each other in the hallway.
If you're stuck under the same roof, trying to plan your exit without setting the house on fire, you’re not alone — and you are not powerless.

As a divorce attorney, coach, and mom who’s lived it, here’s what I want you to know: the planning starts now, even if the papers aren’t filed yet.

1. Write Down Your “Why” — and Revisit It Often
This isn’t about hating your ex or getting revenge. It’s about remembering who you are — and why you’re choosing peace. Keep it somewhere private. A drawer, a journal, a note on your phone.
When you’re tempted to stay because it’s familiar? Read it again.

2. Start Tracking the Patterns
You don’t need the perfect spreadsheet or fancy documentation system. Just start writing things down.

• What happens when you disagree?

• How do they communicate around the kids?

• What makes your body tense up?

Patterns don’t lie. And if you end up in court, this is gold.

3. Create Your Own Sacred Space (Even a Small One)
You might not have the resources to move out right now — but you can still carve out a corner that’s yours. A drawer. A playlist. A chair. A shelf. Something that reminds you you’re your own person, not just a role you play.

4. Quietly Start Gathering Documents + Planning Your Budget

• Logins. Bank statements. Tax returns.

• Monthly expenses — yours and the family’s.

• Proof of income, childcare costs, insurance.

This isn’t being sneaky. It’s being smart.

5. Identify the Safe People
You need people you can speak to honestly — not ones who’ll guilt you or talk you into staying because it’s “easier.”
Write down three names. Even if one is your therapist and one is your journal. You need your own team right now.

You Don’t Need to Wait for the Divorce Papers to Start Taking Your Power Back.
This in-between season is hard — but it’s also when you plant the seeds that will carry you through the storm.